My Country Momma’s Sure Fire Way To Identify Sexual Harassment

My momma knew a thang or two about men and bad behavior.

There’s a simple method to apply anytime you are wondering whether a man has done or is doing a thang he really ought not be, simply apply momma’s rule:

“If he asks and you said ‘No’ and he took ‘No’ for an answer, nothin’ happened.

If you are in the middle of an activity and you change your mind, if he then takes ‘No’ for an answer, nothin’ happened.

If you say ‘No’ while you are liftin’ your skirt and droppin’ your drawers and he still takes ‘No’ for an answer, nothin’ happened.

If you say ‘No’ and he don’t come back ‘n fire you off your job for that, nothin’ happened.

If after nothin’ actually happened you are still fuming over the fact that nothin’ happened after he took ‘No’ for an answer, well maybe you’re mad cause you wanted somethin’ to happen and it didn’t. Still, nothin’ happened.

If what happened only happened in your imagination, well there you go again: nothin’ happened.”

A man can be a jerk or a man can say a dumb thang — cause men are generally none too smart about women — but if he never touched you or did an actual shitty thang to you and you just don’t like that he’s not into you enough to try, ‘nothin’ happened.’

If any y’all gals are still in doubt as to whether you were sexually harassed, y’all should apply my momma’s wisdom, cause my momma knew the difference between a real bad man and a woman’s wild imagination.

And trust me, she knew the difference when a man intended harm and when the harm experienced was all in a woman’s head. Cause we all know those things happen.